On stage at the Arrell Family Foundation Auditorium at CAMH, award-winning author David A. Robertson tells an engrossed audience a story from 2010, when he believed that a trip to the grocery store would kill him.
Robertson, who is a member of Norway House Cree Nation and lives in Winnipeg, is a two-time Governor General's Literary Award winner and has published over 25 books for children, youth, and adults. He also lives with chronic anxiety and depression. In 2010, he was in the middle of what he describes as a “nervous breakdown” and the thought of getting out of bed to buy groceries for his family seemed insurmountable.
When Robertson recounts this same moment in his new memoir, All The Little Monsters: How I Learned To Live With Anxiety, he writes, “I had a vision of walking inside the grocery store, making it down maybe one aisle, and then crumpling to the ground, leaving a nearly empty cart unattended.”
But with support from his wife Jill, Robertson took on this task one step at a time and with incredible perseverance, he went grocery shopping. This was the beginning of his journey out of the darkness. “Being sick doesn’t make you weak,” he said to the audience at CAMH.
Robertson was joined in conversation with Dr. Jeffrey Ansloos, a citizen of the Fisher River Cree Nation, a psychologist, published author, and Associate Professor at the University of Toronto. Their discussion was part of a book launch for the release of All The Little Monsters held at CAMH. Hosted by Shkaabe Makwa (the Centre for First Nations, Inuit and Métis Wellness at CAMH), the audience at this special event, alongside CAMH staff, was primarily Indigenous people and staff from Indigenous health organizations across Toronto.
Robertson was unflinchingly honest when speaking about both his battles with his little monsters (health anxiety, panic attacks, and depression), and his hard-won victories. He and Dr. Ansloos also spoke about the importance of community, the ways in which land is medicine, and how empowering it is to share your story and to hear others’.
Outside of the auditorium, attendees had the opportunity to share part of their own story. An interactive mural allowed people to answer the prompt: what would you say to your little monsters? Responses were written in various languages and ranged from embracing to rejecting their little monsters. As one person wrote: “you’re not the boss of me.”
The night was an important reminder that you are never alone in your mental health journey.
David A. Robertson’s memoir All the Little Monsters: How I Learned to Live with Anxiety is available now wherever books are sold. Attendees of the event took home complimentary copies of All the Little Monsters thanks to a generous donation by CAMH’s Reconciliation Working Group (RWG).
