In pursuit of purpose

Like many young kids, Chris Cull grew up idolizing his father. He was his hero. That’s why it was so difficult when his father was diagnosed with Huntington’s disease, a neurodegenerative illness, when Chris was just a teenager. Suddenly, Chris was the caretaker for his role model and the man who raised him. 

“I looked up to him my whole life, and then in my late teens, he was dying. He was a paramedic for 27 years. He ended up losing his job, license and will to live.”

When Chris was 22, he lost his father to suicide.

“That just absolutely destroyed me.” 

After years of constant stress and struggle, Chris descended into a downward spiral. He turned to opioids to cope.

“[Using opioids] was the only time where I felt like I had some degree of alleviation from what was going on and the stress of it all. It was the only thing that made me feel somewhat normal at the time.”

During his nearly nine-year addiction, Chris estimates he spent six figures on drugs. He struggled to maintain the home his father left him, unable to pay bills or buy food. He broke up with his girlfriend of three years and weighed less than 140 pounds.

 “I lost everything that meant anything to me,” says Chris. “One day, I went home and sat there in silence for two hours. I realized if I do not change, I am literally going to die. That was my rock bottom, but it was also my turnaround.”

 Sitting alone in the dark, Chris asked himself one question: “If you could do anything, what would that be?”

 He knew the answer: he would bike across Canada and film a documentary about his journey. For the next year, Chris did everything he could to accomplish his goal. He worked with his doctor to taper off his opioid usage. He spent hours at the library doing research. He reached out to people and networked.

 “The only time I was happy was when I was dreaming of this thing I wanted to do. I got more and more excited, and it pulled me toward better well-being and recovery. It pulled me toward a better path, and I dedicated my whole life to it.” 

After experiencing so much loss, Chris had found his purpose.

In 2014, he rode across the country, interviewing Canadians about the ongoing opioid crisis and sharing his own story. He also took time for himself along the way, doing things he could never have imagined while in the throes of addiction. He hit golf balls off a mountaintop in British Columbia, he skydived in Montreal and braved whitewater rapids in Northern Ontario.

Over the past decade, Chris has become an advocate for mental health and addiction awareness. Serving as an ambassador to dozens of organizations facing the opioid crisis, he has seen first-hand the impact CAMH has on those living with addiction.

“CAMH is so well networked within the community and the organizations that are doing important work at the ground level,” says Chris. “People experiencing opioid addiction often have complex medical needs and need a certain level of care. No matter your race, creed or gender, CAMH can provide that—it’s an inclusive place for everybody.”

Through his advocacy work and by sharing his story, he wants to help CAMH support others in finding their purpose.

“CAMH is more than just a hospital. It’s a beacon of light for many, many people struggling.”