I used to feel ashamed of my depression. Not Today.

“My soul is happy”

When the neuroinformatics team at CAMH decided to create a new kind of digital dashboard meant to allow patients to see at a glance how their recovery journey was progressing, they turned to Rohan R. Mehta to help their team of scientists, researchers and clinicians turn their vision into reality.

With expertise in project management courtesy of a Master’s degree in business administration in New York and a father who is a medical professional in his native India, Rohan seemed to be an ideal choice to make sure the dashboard was designed in a multi-culturally inclusive, patient-centred way.

But the real expertise Rohan brought to the table–the reason he was asked to lead the project–was his lived experience as a patient of CAMH who has been treated for anxiety, major depressive disorder, substance use disorder and suicidal ideation.

“I always wanted to be in this space where my lived experience, passion and background could be leveraged meaningfully for better treatment outcomes,” says Rohan. “And I am grateful to CAMH for allowing me to partner in this vital project, as the experience has benefitted my own ongoing recovery journey as well.”

Rohan wanted to participate in this campaign because of two core beliefs:  He believes CAMH saved his life and he believes that CAMH’s commitment to the patient voice in all aspects of research is the key to innovation and discovery.

“I really feel that the public needs to support mental health research initiatives at CAMH because after attempting suicide twice, I was placed in an integrated care pathway program created by CAMH scientists that saved my life. I wanted to get involved directly in CAMH research because I wanted to give back.  Once the mind has been vandalized, our spirit gets amputated, and there is no prosthetic for an amputated spirit.  The mind is God’s most complex creation, and in order to address those complex challenges, we need continuous investments in research.“

While everyone loves a magic wand story when it comes to mental illness recovery, that’s not how it usually works in the real world of mental health care and Rohan’s experience reflects that. 

He did not seek help until he was well into his 30s.  He says it wasn’t so much the stigma of mental illness that inhibited him from seeking treatment growing up in India as much as it was indifference and shame.  As long as you are strong and act like a man, everything will work out fine.

“After staying strong for 10+ years,  one day my high tolerance threshold was surpassed.”

When he finally reached out to his family physician for help, there were no easy fixes. She soon came to the conclusion that his mental illness was too complex for her to successfully treat on her own.

“You need help Rohan,” she told him. “You need better help at CAMH.”

Even at CAMH there were no singular moments of triumph. It was hard, grinding work and progress was of the incremental variety.  Part of Rohan’s care involved a 16-week intensive program of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) that in partnership with CAMH clinicians involved a lot of “homework” assignments designed to teach his brain new strategies to manage his mental illness on a daily basis.

“The therapists really made me feel valued as a person and the CBT helped change my thinking patterns,” says Rohan about his four years as a patient at CAMH. “It’s not magic.  It takes time.  I’m still in therapy. I need to practice the skills I have learned.  For me, maintaining mental health stability is a lifelong journey. But my soul is happy.”